I’ve been trying to think of something interesting to write about daily, or almost daily and nothing was coming to mind. As a writer and screen writer, looking to flex my creative muscle, this was indeed perplexing. Currently, the creative lanes of traffic in my head are overshadowed by the first draft of a screenplay that has haunted me far too long. Two ongoing novels and two half completed canvases share space on my easel. I’m in a creative traffic jam. The projects are still moving, they’re just jockeying for position. I wanted no needed something light, lighter, more about being than creating.
Last Tuesday evening on the way to flamenco class I found it. Or rather, it was thrust upon me when a female driver, perhaps giving birth in her vehicle, attempted to force me to drive faster than the speed limit. This of course made me drive slightly below the limit in a smart aleck attempt to show her the error of her bullying ways. Ha, I doubt I taught her to leave herself more time, or to lose the road rage or employ patience because when she passed me she laid on her horn multiple times forcing me of course to flip her the bird, smiling the evilest grin I could muster while focusing on turning. Then, feeling a bit of a lunatic with my raised middle finger held forcefully aloft, I wondered how I could have handled that better. Hmmmm, stumped again. I couldn’t come up with anything suitable to the circumstance. In that moment I realized how hard it is to be a good person, to look the other way, to stalk the walk of compassion.
Others feel the same way I’m sure, while others never question their goodness. BUT, big but….Inherently humans want to be loved. It’s our most basic need and to be loved we have to be lovable. Lovable in the sense that we never, never, never, never ever…. rock the harmony boat.
The theory and ideology of compassion I understand, I think, having read numerous books on Zen, Buddhism, Judaism. I was baptized, schooled and raised Catholic and follow the talks and teachings of the Dalai Lama religiously. Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself which, ironically, is yet another example of how hard it is to be good. Humor in the wrong place, at the wrong time, or is it? How is that judged? How is anything judged, especially goodness? We can confirm with earnest that Mother Theresa, His Holiness and other Saintly humans truly live a life of compassion but they are human and I imagine, have faltered from time to time. It was then I realized I could write about how hard it is to be good person. A story, little snippets of how hard or easy it is to be a good person in one full year. What mischief and maligning will I inflict? What opportunities for acts of compassion will I encounter and choose to perform in my tiny, yet lovely life. April Fool’s Day is a great day to start. The one day a year set ahead to be foolish and, to be excused for being a fool. As a prankster, this is the day to involve myself in as much malarkey as possible, on this wonderful day of forgiveness. After that, let the goodness begin.