Break-Ups Are Hard

Have you ever been fired? Or any of the fun euphemisms corporations use for being fired; let go, downsized, early retirement opportunity, make redundant, constructive dismissal, career transition, re-engineer the staff, relieve of duties, part of a headcount reduction or restructuring? And my personal favorite; discharged. I get a visual of pus oozing from a wound or a bullet from a gun? Not particularly positive imagery.

Have you noticed the similarity in feelings, the similarities in process of being fired, terminated or early retirement opportunity to that of a divorce, separation, the breakdown of a friendship or the death or loved one?

There are of course subtle differences.

When you get fired, you don’t get to keep the furniture. You don’t even get to keep your personal files. If lucky, some HR or caring individual with go through your office space and determine what is personal and what is business, often opening personal items they would never normally touch. Same is true for death or divorce. For this reason I have a pact with a friend to destroy her hard drive. Whatever has she been up to I wonder?

People you have known intimately for years are now strangers. Can you talk and if you converse what will you talk about? With death you at least have the, “I’ve been meaning to contact you.” Fired, divorced, nothing, zip, zero, with seemingly no prospect of progress. Everyone just idles on pretending nothing has changed.

How about the terms the masses use for getting fired;  sacked, dumped, bounced out, canned, axed, eighty-sixed, and given the old heave-ho. The same terminology is used when getting or going through a divorced or relationship split.  Not cheerful at all.

None of these painful feelings are good, at least not in the moment.

Let’s just spin it around. In all these circumstances, what starts as a bad feeling, like not getting picked for the team, being down in the dumps or giving it your all and it not being good enough almost always end up as the start of  a fabulous new relationship, a better life chapter. Only death leaves a lasting void, a limbo dance with grace.

If we are mature about relationships ending with our work, family, our friends and partners we clearly see the positive aspects of those relationships. We take those good feelings, memories and experiences, cherish them and trade them in for something better, something valuable; peace, peace of mind.

We can then take that peace of mind and transmute it into something even greater, a powerful new beginning.

Everyone knows, beginnings are always sweeter than endings.



OPEN OFFICE SPACES – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Open floor plan offices naturally lend themselves to more socializing. But you’re hardly alone in finding the chatter distracting. A study published last year found that open office layouts had a negative effect on productivity, contributing to “mental workload, poor performance, stress, and fatigue.” Another paper, from 2011, found that sound was one of the main factors affecting workplace productivity, with conversation being among the most annoying of them.

Image result for open office spaces

When you need to get something done on deadline, let people know right away. Just make it clear you’re stepping away for the benefit of the company or a particular task—not because you’re trying to avoid your coworkers, says Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach

You might say something like, “I just need a little privacy and some time to concentrate so that I can finish this project on time.”

Peppering it with a bit of humor—”I know you miss me, but I’ve got to get this report done by noon or Julian will have my head” —should help you avoid looking like a grump. You might also make use of the “do no disturb” settings on your instant messenger program, phone and email to underscore your point.

Here are a couple of helpful and humorous articles to help you navigate the noisy world of open concept office spaces:

No one wants to talk about this sensitive but growing topic but for Managers who expect high performance, they need to deal with the noise or lose high performers to companies who value productivity. HR must be also be diligent in enforcing established office etiquette. Employees must work to accept that compromises must be made by many for all.

Here are a few of my favourite tips:


Do a sound audit. Identify potential noise hazards and figure out ways to deal with them.

Develop a workplace respect policy that addresses employee behaviour when it comes to noise, including cellphone and speakerphone use.

Soundproof your space. There are plenty of ways to make your office quieter, from acoustic tiles to sound-masking systems to higher cubicle walls. Carpets, curtains and plants all absorb sound, while water fountains and fans produce white noise that will help drown out other noises.

Provide quiet rooms where employees can work on tasks that require complete concentration.

Allow staff to tune out with headphones.

Group staff according to the work they do. For example, set sales staff constantly working the phones well away from staff who require quiet to do their jobs.


Use your inside voice. No one wants to hear every word of your phone conversations, be they professional or personal.

Ask for help. If noise is a constant bother, ask your manager about purchasing a portable noise masking system or noise-cancelling headphones.

Silence your cellphone. Set your phone to vibrate.

Use headphones if you listen to music while you work.


21: Percentage of U.S. workers who cite loud noises such as speakerphones and cellphone ring tones are a top pet peeve.

18: Percentage of British workers who say loud phone talkers are among the most annoying workplace behaviours.

71: Percentage of workers who want music played in the workplace.

85: Percentage who say they are happier when listening to music at work.

62: Percentage of workers who say listening to music at work makes them feel more productive.

13: Percentage who say listening to music at work is unprofessional.

…….Next blog post topic, Open Office Spaces – Privacy:  Keeping It Confidential


"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity." ~ Henry David Thoreau

Why do we do it? Why do we waste so much of our precious time in jobs we despise with people we may not like?

I’ve asked others this question many times and the answers are never equal to the sacrifice. Lifetimes are traded for benefits packages should the need arise for health care or pensions so retirement can be spent in bitterness for a life of entrapment. Souls sold for a mortgage on houses that can never be homes due to absence. The noblest claims thus far are parents who give up their dreams to save and spend for their children’s education. The child has the responsibility of not only fulfilling their dreams but are often burdened with the angst of their parents into choosing careers they would not choose for themselves. It’s no wonder that the child never repays or is thankless of the extravagant gift.

What do we have at the end of a life spent in drudgery? Broken hearts and E-m-p-t-i-n-e-s-s. An empty soul, an empty home and often an empty bank account. By far the worst fate of all, an empty shell of skin and bone where once a happy person dwelled. The dross of unhappy labour. When we work in jobs which scar our soul, squander our freedom and belittle our dreams, we walk as hollow humans.

Why? Why do we give up our most precious commodity for a big screen TV and enslave ourselves to houses we can barely afford? When we value possessions over fulfilment, we suffer.

Brave people follow their dreams and often accept less pay for a joyful job. For this bravery society often banishes them as the “have-nots,” a serious crime in today’s society of excessive consumerism.  Where would we be if Christopher Columbus decided to sell out for a cushy, high paying stint at court or if Edison had stuck to selling candy and newspapers instead of following his thoughts? Then, as in today’s world, those who think outside the box and follow their dreams are scorned. We forget when we handcuff our neighbour, we also shackle ourselves.

To live a life chasing money means you often lose your personal worth. Your balance sheet looks good but when you de-value your values, you lessen your stock of esteem. Is it not healthier to have a smaller home, greater freedom, fewer possessions, more savings and security than a mansion to lose yourself in and no time to enjoy your earnings?

Life is about choices yes. The good choices make us smile and the bad choices rob us of our happiness. I’d rather be poor then be a slave. I’d rather be homeless than be owned by a building but I’m not like most and have never been a fan of conformity.

The majority of us at some point will need to choose how we will earn our daily bread. We should strive to make sure that choice not only enhances and enriches our life, loads our days with joy and fulfills the dream of who we are and how we see the world and future. Walking the path of our dreams helps to dispel any fears we may have about our freedom to choose. By doing this we also allow and help others to do the same. It has always been worth the time and effort to choose a life of purpose, of personal purpose. When we choose bliss over blindness, the world shares in the bounty.